Struggles
There are struggles between both working and not working as a mom. I have the best of both worlds, I am a work-at-home mom. Thankfully we have a nanny who takes care of the kids from 8 am to 3 pm Monday thru Friday. Otherwise, I would not be able to work and take care of the kids. Previously, we were taking two of them to daycare and that is a whole other story. Anyways, it is hard to work at home and have three children under 4 years old: hanging around crying, screaming, etc.
As a mother, you hear everything in the house. My husband and I are in a separate part of the house we call, the suite. It is behind a closed door and a wall so, you would think we couldn't hear them but I can! There are times I am in a meeting, and I instantly lose concentration because someone is crying. Most of my clients and coworkers understand since most of them have children as well. The best thing I can do is put my headphones on and drown it out. It sucks to break concentration on a task and not be able to complete it in a timely matter.
Some days I miss going into an office. Getting dressed up, socializing, and being my own person was nice. One thing I will never miss is the traffic to get there and back. I have been in a remote work setting since my oldest was born 4 years ago. I don't know if I could ever go back to having to go into an office again.
Joys
My biggest joy is yet my biggest struggle. Being able to be with the kids when I have the time. My mom was the breadwinner when I was growing up. I remember missing her all the time when I was little. Now I call her daily, sometimes three times a day! I love my mom very much but, I would not want to have my kids away from me for so long during the day. Back then she traveled and went into an office 8-10 hours a day. She provided for us and has a great career.
During lunch breaks, I can make myself something to eat and sit and have lunch with my babies. The pure happiness they show me when I come out of the suite is just a breath of fresh air. There is a huge peace of mind too knowing they are steps away from me. When we had the kids in daycare there was a lot of quiet at the house. But we also had a lot of sicknesses coming through! Lily was sick all the time. Having them home has given their immune systems a break.
Cash money is another joy! Having a dual-income household really helps when you have three kids and a bonus kid to take care of. Believe me, childcare is anything but cheap for three kids. So you do have to make enough from each parent to be able to have two incomes and pay for childcare otherwise, it doesn't make sense to have both people working. Just to put it in perspective for three kids the going rate for a nanny is anywhere from $18-$30 an hour.
Scheduling appointments and time to yourself is a lot easier when you work from home. Having three kids and all the wellness checkups, dental appointments, urgent care visits, and school activities are made easier with a work-from-home job.
In the Middle
Sometimes I feel like I am doing it all. There are days that the nanny may need off, and my husband and I will need to trade off watching the kids and working. It is nearly impossible to watch the kids and work. Something will be lacking, either your job or the kids' safety. Thankfully my husband also works from home and can take turns with me watching the kids.
Before we had our current nanny, laundry and household work were mainly on my plate. Don't get me wrong my husband does a lot with the kids. It gave me a mental break to do laundry or clean up the house. Now that we have maids and a nanny, it has helped so much! My husband will do anything to keep me sane and less anxious. He likes peace just like anyone else would.
It has taken a long time to get here, to a point where I can say I have some of my sanity back and a routine that isn't killing me. By child number three I think we have it down.