Sitting in this dark dimly lit nursery feels so peaceful after a chaotic afternoon with three kids. It’s cold and the hatch noise machine is going with the sounds of rain. It just feels like a vacation in Mexico in July when, there is a storm outside on the oceanfront. Humidity fills the air in Playa Del Carmen, as well as, the nursery humidifier. My baby girl is peacefully sleeping in my arms after finishing her bottle of milk. She is cozy in her pajamas with feet and a weighted sleep sack. I like to feel like she remembers my scent and remembers what it is like to be with me all of the time.
Downstairs my husband is with the two kids playing outside. From inside the nursery, I can hear laughing and screaming going on outside. It is muffled and dull. In the nursery, it feels safe and calm. Outside is wild and unpredictable.
As I lay down my heavy sleeping baby, I kiss her cheek and slowly put her down. She moves around a little bit and gets comfy for the next few hours or more. The nursery chair looks comfortable to sit in for a minute and scroll through my phone. I still hear the kids outside so I know they will be ready to come in soon. After a few moments, I get up from the rocking chair and head out of the room quietly. I do not want to disturb my sweet girl.
The hardest part is turning the door knob shut when I am out of the room. Safety child-proof door knobs fill our house. I squeeze the knob on the outside and try to not make any noise when I close the door.
My breath is being held while I am closing the door. When it is closed I can breathe again. Now on my way to greet the other two outside and get them in to start relaxing and bedtime for them.